to love you more

Take me back in the arms I love

Need me like you did before
Touch me once again
And remember when
There was no one that you wanted more

Don't go you know you will break my heart
She won't love you like I will
I'm the one who'll stay
When she walks away
And you know I'll be standing here still

I'll be waiting for you
Here inside my heart
I'm the one who wants to love you more
You will see I can give you
Everything you need
Let me be the one to love you more

See me as if you never knew
Hold me so you can't let go
Just believe in me
I will make you see
All the things that your heart needs to know

I'll be waiting for you
Here inside my heart
I'm the one who wants to love you more
You will see I can give you
Everything you need
Let me be the one to love you more

And some way all the love that we had can be saved
Whatever it takes we'll find a way

I'll be waiting for you
Here inside my heart
I'm the one who wants to love you more
You will see I can give you
Everything you need
Let me be the one to love you more

Be thankful :)

Mari bersyukur

Melihat berita beberapa minggu ini, apatahlagi gempa bumi yang melanda Christchurch, New Zealand malam semalam, hati saya tersentuh seketika. Keadaan pergolakan politik di beberapa negara seperti di Timur Tengah, pergaduhan di antara suami isteri, malah pembuangan bayi membuatkan ku merasa diri ini semakin jijik untuk hidup. Kejamnya manusia!!! Berita suami tendang perut isteri yang tengah mengandung hingga menyebabkan keguguran??? Kenapalah nak dera isteri tu sampai sekejam tu? Dulu time bercinta-cintun bukan main lagi.

Orang buang anak????GOSHHHHH…. Manusia ke haiwan mereka tu?

Selama ni saya selalu dengar kes-kes ini di luar kawasan tempat tinggal saya. Semalam time pergi berurut kat seorang makcik tu, dia sempat bagitau kat Lawas ni sendiri dah berlaku pembuangan bayi. Bayi di balut dalam tuala dan di tinggalkan di tepi jalan. Bayi hidup!! Ada pula yang ni yang paling saya geram. Seorang ibu yang berhati”entah” (saya pun tak tau nak describe macamana) buang TWIN depan satu hotel kat sini. FuHhh…”hey,you D ***L people if you don’t know how to take care a child, give me one and I’ll show you how!!!

Bila saya musabahahkan(betul ka ni ayat?) diri pagi ni, I made a conclusion. Ada yang suka melihat kejadian yang terjadi dari sudut saintifik. Ada pula yang melihat dari sudut keagamaan. Walau dari sudut mana sekalipun, saya tetap dengan pendirian bahawa semua kejadian ini terjadi untuk membuka mata hati kita agar kita tahu dunia semakin hancur, dan keselamatan dari Tuhan amat diperlukan. Kita semua pasti tahu bahawa Dia akan datang ke dunia ini untuk kedua kalinya seperti seorang “pencuri”. Dan ketika itu kita tidak dapat berbuat apa-apa lagi. Ada juga segelintir kita menganggap bencana yang terjadi adalah disebabkan kemurkaan Tuhan terhadap kita. Ingat, Tuhan tak pernah menjanjikan kita tiada bencana atau kesusahan yang berlaku dalam kehidupan kita, tapi Dia telah menjanjikan kita jalan keluar, keselamatan dan jawapan bagi semua yang terjadi. So, bersyukurlah senantiasa.

Secara peribadi, saya amat bersyukur sebab lahir di Malaysia. Bukan lah nak kata negara lain tak baik or so on… tapi, so far, kita masih selamat dan sentiasa dalam perlindunganNya. Walaupun sometime ada pergolakan politik sana sini, tapi semuanya still in control sebab I’m sure we are in HIS control. Kita harus tetap berdoa untuk keselamatan negara kita,untuk pemimpin2 negara, keluarga dan semua orang disekeliling kita. Sekarang ni adalah zaman dimana kita sepatutnya membangun diri sendiri dan orang lain dan saling membimbing dan bukannya menjatuhkan orang lain. The world is coming to the end, men! Wake up and be prepare!

Ora Et Labora everyone J

A day @ Pesta Lawas 2011

The View from Lawas Waterfront
Terima kasih payung.. hehehe
Aunty Reen ja yang larat layan karenahnya
My Man... yerdeHHhhh~~
Lawas next top
Sunggup menunggu Lumba Perahu
View Seri Malaysia, Lawas
1 Rela??
Makan Kolo mee sambil tengok orang lumba
Kolo mee & Laksa Lawas

Macam tak percaya pula ni Pesta Lawas 2011 diadakan di Lawas…hahaha…bunyi macam merepek tetapi memang benar lah… 3 hari Lawas penuh dengan manusia dan kereta. Best sangat lah. Tapi sayang tak banyak capture gambar. Erm, share sikit2 ja la… J

Antara aktiviti yang telah diadakan, Lumba perahu, pentarama, pameran, Ratu kebaya…mcm2 lagi lah… yang penting semua berjalan dengan lancar walaupun cuaca selalu hujan. Thanks untuk semua yang telah menjayakannya….Tak sabar nak tunggu Pesta Lun Bawang 2011 pula…

My surprise lil party

Thanks Dear..Love you so much...

My best Cuzzie...

The cake after disaster ....but the taste DROOL.. :)
Don't judge the cake by its look...hahaha...

Surprise Party

Gara-gara mau buat surprise, macam2 kisah yang mencuit hati. Heran pula pagi2 lagi dia macam tak keruan. Tak pg kerja. Malas lah kononnya nak tanya. Check2, ptg tu dia balik bawa chicken wing & mcm2 lagi mknan. Pastu sempat bawa sy pergi beli brg2 lain. Lepas shopping tu, kami balik ke rumah ddan buat persiapan dgn siblings. Dalam hati ini tertanya-tanya, ada kek ke tak? Nak kek CHEESE laaaaa dear!!!!, tapi tak berani nak cakap..kekekekeke… so, sy hint2 la kat adik suruh dia buat kek. Tiba-tiba hub keluar katanya nak p ambil kek yang dia dah book. Lebih kurang 10 minit, dia pulang , sy terdengar dia ckp2 kat adik “okey ke tak ni?,” sy pun keluarla p tgk …sekalinya, wHAHAHAHAH…..kek tu dah jadi mcm bukan kek…hahaha….(tgkla gbr tu) . Katanya, gara-gara nak cepat, ngam2 kat corner, dia p swing kereta, kek jatuh terbalik!...hahaha…CUTE kan….kekeke..Apa yang penting, kami gumbira…thanks to my big family too..u people sangat2 sporting… terharunya…

But anyway, the lil-cute party was PRETTY-PINK-GOOD!!! Kek terbalik tapi the test was TIP-TOP la…Thanks to D’Donut Bakery for the nice cheese cake. And to you DEAR who planned all of this, Love you moreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee……

It's my birthday!!

Boleh saya minta kek yang macam ni??? :)

Kek Birthday last year

IT’S MY BIRTHDAY!!

Hohoho…28 is just a number…waaa…is it?? But its still scare me though.. another 2 more years I am 30!! Ngee…as other people always said “jadi lebih matang tahun ini”… ketara pula sy ni tak pandai matang2 wakakakaka….

Anyway, birthday wishes @FB hari ni brighten up my day.. hari yang gelap kini sudah terang.. perut yang tadi lapar kini sudah kenyang.. sebab Iween & me baru lepas breakfast mknan kampung.. Nuba laya+sinamu+don ubih…. J

But I still wanted a PINK BIRTHDAY CAKE with STARS on it… please….. J

Birthday Prayer

Thank you, God, for giving me another year of life.
Thank you for all the people who remembered me today
by good wishes.

Thank you for all the experience of this past year;
for times of success which will always be happy memories,
for times of failure which reminded me of my own weakness and of my need for you,
for times of joy when the sun was shining,
for times of sadness which drove me to You.

Forgive me
for the hours I wasted,
for the chances I failed to take,
for the opportunities I missed this past year.
Help me in the days ahead to make this the best year yet,
and through it to bring good credit to myself,
happiness and pride to my loved ones,
and joy to you. Amen.

Your Princess,

~Lianna~

Another IUI??

After my 2^nd IUI, I just can’t imagine doing it again. The last one was done last 1 ½ years ago. And the pain still haunting me.Seriously! Going to and fro every week for almost 7 hours driving was not that bad compare to the process of IUI. I have to be a drugGER (apa punya bahasa nie) for almost 2 years for that. (medication & injection)

5 days jep (I did it my own bottom of my belly) was scary. I have to do it myself because mostly those nurse at my place “tak berani nak buat, tak pernah” or I define them as “takut nak cuba or malas”. fuHhhh….

I did fallopian tube scan where’s a type of fluid (dye) injected in it to make sure that there were no blockage. While the fluid injected to the tube, I felt half down of my body numbed. Just can’t describe how pain it was. But praise the Lord, there ain’t.

“Insemination: To introduce or inject semen into the reproductive tract of a female”

After that procedure done, the doctor did my insem. Eventhough the pain was crampingmy whole body, I kept on praying, hope that TWW will come true.

And for the second time TWW failed. Almost two years trying naturally, there’re still no sign of “good news”. Everywhere I go, anyone I met keep on asking me the same old question which make me sometimes very stressful. I manage to pick myself up eventually. Each time I fall, I seem to fall lower. At the moment all I want to do is lie on the bed curled in a ball and cry or just lay there and mourn. People around have been talking about whether I am going to ever get pregnant. This has depressed me further. I know we need to be realistic, but I am not ready to give up yet.

Everyone is talking about adoption. It is something that we both want to do, but I feel like it will be admitting defeat. If we do adopt, we want to put our whole sole into it, and not still be going through treatment for a biological child. A family is what is very important to us. If we do adopt, that means I will never be pregnant, give birth, breast feed, and hold my newborn for the first time. This is a hard pill to swallow, and at the moment, I think that is what I am not able to do.

Dear, hub, thanks for all the support, kind and love you gave to me. Let us keep praying because I believe that God’s plan is always the best. Love you so much.

*if you want to know what is IUI just google it la. Just FYI

~first try~

The snuggle song

this song remind me of some one...hahaha...cute song for a cute person like you..

A day with IFGF-GISI Sipitang

Tak sangka pelayanan berjalan lancar kemarin. After 2 weeks planned for a gathering with IFG-GISI Sipitang , akhirnya selesai. Sepanjang persiapan benar-benar mengajar ku tentang kesabaran dan iman. Fuhhhh…. I thought it wont be happen anymore. The strong thought of “ Hey Lianna, that is impossible, IMPOSSIBLE to do that!!!,”…Sepanjang 2 minggu bergelumung dengan masalah “ MUSTAHIL”, rupa-rupanya, tiada yang mustahil bagi TUHAN… God is REAL!...

Dengan ketiadaan pastor dalam lawatan kali ini benar-benar menduga iman ku. Apa tak nya, selama ini setiap kali lawatan ke gereja lain, pastor sentiasa bersama-sama kami. Tambahan lagi, organisasi PPP kali ini yang sangat muda tanpa hadirnya walau seorangpun dekan… tak seperti sebelum ini. So, siapa yang akan handle P&W? Kotbah???? Lagi lah ….

Walaupun demikian, Tuhan Yesus tak pernah tinggalkan ku walau sesaat pun. Semua yang mustahil bagi manusia, TAK MUSTAHIL bagi Tuhan.

Malam terakhir rehearsal pula, tiba-tiba hujan lebat, banjir & tiadanya electricity. Terasa macam mahu menjerit sekuat hati.” Apa pula kali ini ya, Tuhan?”, kataku. Ah, tak apa-apa.Masej telah dihantar kepada beberapa PP dan menyatakan bahawa kami akan berangkat jam 730pagi kerana telah berjanji akan tiba di Sipitang jam 830pg. Sesampainya saya dan Ireen di gereja, wah, sunyi , tak nampak kelibat sesiapapun. Lonceng telah dibunyi kan 2 kali. Tetapi , masih tak ada seorang yang muncul. Dan tak lama kemudian, bro Ween and Amu tiba dengan membawa berita bahawa kereta yang ingin kami naiki pula rosak… “APA LAGI NI??????”,…. Hati betul2 kecewa lah time ni… Tapi Roh Kudus berbisik “ Tak ada yang mustahil bagi TUHAN. PERCAYA TUHAN akan buka jalan”..

Kami meneruskan perjalanan dengan menaiki 3 buah kereta dan 14 orang (sepatunya ada lebih kurang 40orang). Dengan hujan lebat dan terdapat beberapa kawasan yang mula dinaiki air. Di dalam hati ini terus berdoa dan percaya Tuhan membuka jalan.

Setibanya di Gereja, walaupun kami lambat lebih kurang 40minit, kami disambut dengan sarapan pagi yang enak dan banyakkkkkk…thanks banyak2 bagi ibu2 yang telah menyediakan semuanya itu. Kemudian, kebaktian bermula dengan baik dan lancar. Kehadiran Roh kudus dapat di rasai.. Selesai pelayanan P&W, Pdm Raymond telah berbicara mengenai “KASIH” di mana tema ini terasa seperti satu kebetulan dengan apa yang telah terjadi sebelum ini . Tetapi apa yang pasti itu bukannya satu kebetulan tetapi Rencana Tuhan yang sangat indah kepada setiap kami. Kami benar-benar diberkati.

Selesai kebaktian, kami di jamu dengan makan tengahari yang tak terkatakan lah.. sedap ,man.. hehehe…dan setelah itu kami berangkat pulang jam 130 ptg.

Fuh, benar-benar tiada yang mustahil bagi Tuhan. Thanks kepada Jemaat IFGF-GISI Sipitang sebab menerima kunjungan kami. Kiranya kasih dan berkat dari Yesus Kristus menyertai kamu semua. Jumpa lagi , ya..

And, kepada semua Team PPP SIB Batu Mulong, I LOVE YOU ALL ..Berdoa agar pelayanan kita ke gereja yang lain akan diteruskan lagi dan menyatakan kebenaran injil.

Listen to this song...be blessed, everyone..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xCdbyeJ_Y_E&feature=related

My BFF's Wedding

______________________________________________________________________
Today’s my BFF Valerie’s wedding. So sad la sebab can’t attend. Anyway, congrats to both of them. J

Yesterday sempat juga tolong sikit2 decorate church. Theme :PURPLE.. I tell you…huhuhu..Speechless la sbb cantik sangat3…all planned by Val herself… suddenly pula saya jadi minat purple…Ooopsss sorry Pink no heart feeling yah…hehehe…

Looking to both of them really touched my heart. They look really sweet together. The smiles on their face express everything. Even though Val’s coughing and extremely-exhausted (i know how its feel), she tried her best to decorate and keep smiling through the day. And I believe that today is much better because of L.O.V.E ...yerdehHHhhhh

Dear Val,

Sorry for not attending your big day today. I just cant wait to see those beautiful pix of you and Celvin. As you wished yesterday, God heard our prayer and gave us a good day, good weather today. God is real.

Valerie & Celvin,

As you happily look forward to all you're dreaming of, may you be blessed with love and happiness forever!

Congratulations to you both and much happiness on your wedding day. May your love shine warmly forever, AMEN .

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lgh9XTkQTDI

Sidney Mohede 'Tiada SepertiMu' (Behind The Scenes/Rehearsal Clip 'Loude...

TIADA SEPERTIMU (None Like You)
Music and Lyrics by Sidney Mohede
© 2003 Insight Unlimited Publishing


AnugrahMu kepadaku tak pernah berubah
PerbuatanMu terlukiskan didalam hatiku
Tercengang ku dibuatMu kagum padaMu
Tak ada hal di hidupku luput dariMu

Kau indah Kau mulia Tiada sepertiMu
Kungin hidupku menyenangkanMu

Kau terawal dan terakhir pencipta segalanya
Seluruh bintang pun bersinar oleh ucapanMu
Engkau pun mengasihiku penulis hidupku
Tak henti segnap nafasku penyembahMu selalu

Kupuji kusembah Tiada sepertimu
Kuingin hidupku menyenangkanMu

Chorus:
S'gala puji S'gala hormat
Seg'nap hatiku menyembahMu
Terimalah seg'nap hidupku
S'bagai persembahan yang hidup

Bukan kehendakku namun kehendakMu
Hidupku bagiMu
Kau indah, Kau mulia
Kuingin hidupku menyenangkanMu

(English Translation)
NONE LIKE YOU

Your Grace for me never changes
And what You have done is painted in my heart
I'm amazed by You
I stand in awe of You
There is nothing in my life that You don't see

You are beautiful, You are glorious
There is none like You
I want to please You all of my days

You are the beginning and the end
The Creator of everything
The stars shine by Your words

And You love me, the Author of my life
With all my breath i will worship You always

I praise You, I worship You
There is none like You
I want to please You all of my days

Chorus:
All of my praises
All of my reverence
All of my heart worship you
Take all of my life as a living sacrifice for You

Bridge:
Not my will but Yours be done
For my life is Yours
You are beautiful, You are glorious
I want to please You all of my days